Today the dam of emotions broke. I starting crying and just couldn't stop.
We had a glorious (by new normal standards) Monday and Tuesday. It was SUNNY, we actually had nice weather. With the ability to go outside in our yard, this is so much more tolerable, and life seemed almost like a normal summer vacation day. The sunny weather made sitting in front of the computer for hours harder, but it made my time with kids so much more enjoyable.
And then the last few days have been rainy.
In addition, quarter three grades are due Friday (tomorrow).
My school work looks like this on a weekly basis: Figure out how to totally re-invent my curriculum for online learning, find reasonable (but hopefully meaningful) learning activities, write a weekly learning plan for all 4 of my classes, post those in my 4 google classrooms, check all the work that was turned in last week, email all the students and parents that are missing work, communicate with administration and guidance about students missing work, respond to all those emails and many other emails, communicate with special educators and try to figure out how to provide supports to students who need them, have office hours for students everyday, meet collaboratively with my department twice a week, respond to a thousand more emails, have some live google meet sessions with some classes, enter all the "grades" for completed work, and then start over again, planning for the next week. Phew, did I miss anything?
Well, it was the 6pm email from my principal put me over the edge. All week I've been convincing myself that I can do this, roll the punches, keep up a brave face, make this all work. I think the days cooped up inside let my frustrations, restlessness, and anxiety reach a breaking point. Then came the email with our new school schedule, requiring us to have 3 hours of face time (or rather, google meet time) with students everyday. On top of everything else the students are already doing, on top of what the teachers are already doing, and on top of surviving family life, homeschooling, everything. I'm not saying we can't make it work, but in the moment, it was just too much, and I totally lost it. Sitting at my computer sobbing, I burned the shit out of the rice I was cooking for dinner, wrote a few panicked emails to colleagues, and generally felt pretty sorry for myself.
So, I'll update more on that as it unfolds. I just can't imagine that asking students to sit in front of a screen for 3 hours every day, on top of their other remote work, is going to be the best approach. I'm personally just feeling really overwhelmed by this expectation.
I know there is more I intended to write about our life these days. About quarantine haircuts and making the kids watch something educational. We thought we were being such quality parents by making our kids watch "The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind", a movie about a boy in Malawi who saves his village from famine by building a wind turbine to power and irrigation pump. The kids thought it was so spectacularly boring that they demanded to be allowed another movie in compensation! But I'm still glad we made them watch it!
And John Prine died of Covid-19. I get more and more scared for my parents everyday.
Thursday April 9th
US Cases: 465,329
VT Cases: 628
We had a glorious (by new normal standards) Monday and Tuesday. It was SUNNY, we actually had nice weather. With the ability to go outside in our yard, this is so much more tolerable, and life seemed almost like a normal summer vacation day. The sunny weather made sitting in front of the computer for hours harder, but it made my time with kids so much more enjoyable.
And then the last few days have been rainy.
In addition, quarter three grades are due Friday (tomorrow).
My school work looks like this on a weekly basis: Figure out how to totally re-invent my curriculum for online learning, find reasonable (but hopefully meaningful) learning activities, write a weekly learning plan for all 4 of my classes, post those in my 4 google classrooms, check all the work that was turned in last week, email all the students and parents that are missing work, communicate with administration and guidance about students missing work, respond to all those emails and many other emails, communicate with special educators and try to figure out how to provide supports to students who need them, have office hours for students everyday, meet collaboratively with my department twice a week, respond to a thousand more emails, have some live google meet sessions with some classes, enter all the "grades" for completed work, and then start over again, planning for the next week. Phew, did I miss anything?
Well, it was the 6pm email from my principal put me over the edge. All week I've been convincing myself that I can do this, roll the punches, keep up a brave face, make this all work. I think the days cooped up inside let my frustrations, restlessness, and anxiety reach a breaking point. Then came the email with our new school schedule, requiring us to have 3 hours of face time (or rather, google meet time) with students everyday. On top of everything else the students are already doing, on top of what the teachers are already doing, and on top of surviving family life, homeschooling, everything. I'm not saying we can't make it work, but in the moment, it was just too much, and I totally lost it. Sitting at my computer sobbing, I burned the shit out of the rice I was cooking for dinner, wrote a few panicked emails to colleagues, and generally felt pretty sorry for myself.
So, I'll update more on that as it unfolds. I just can't imagine that asking students to sit in front of a screen for 3 hours every day, on top of their other remote work, is going to be the best approach. I'm personally just feeling really overwhelmed by this expectation.
I know there is more I intended to write about our life these days. About quarantine haircuts and making the kids watch something educational. We thought we were being such quality parents by making our kids watch "The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind", a movie about a boy in Malawi who saves his village from famine by building a wind turbine to power and irrigation pump. The kids thought it was so spectacularly boring that they demanded to be allowed another movie in compensation! But I'm still glad we made them watch it!
And John Prine died of Covid-19. I get more and more scared for my parents everyday.
Thursday April 9th
US Cases: 465,329
VT Cases: 628
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