This is a piece I originally wrote for 7 Days Newspaper in August/September of 2020.
Wednesday August 19th
First day of Inservice
Friday August 28th.
8th day of inservice, 5 more work days until school starts, and I am struck by how much we still don’t know.
I’m sitting in a staff meeting with 40 other people (spaced out in designated seats around the auditorium) and we have so many questions.
And for most, there are no clear answers yet. Some are big picture, and some are practical. How do we attendance everyday for the cohort that is remote?
For the students who are fully remote? How/what will qualify as attendance? Should we stream remote kids into our classes?
How can we if class is outside? How do we rebuild our community? How do we best address the huge social emotional needs of students right now?
When we will have the disinfectant we need to clean our desks between classes? Oh, there is a shortage of spray bottles, back ordered in January, we are working on it…
(nb: we ended up getting the spray bottles in time!) When are the outdoor tents arriving? How do we decide who gets to use them and when in an equitable way?
Can we use the library? Checking out books? How do we have a lockdown with social distancing? How do we have a lockdown for outdoor classes?
How do we communicate morning announcements to remote students? How do we help remote students to feel part of our community?
How do we move forward with our racial justice initiatives and education? What about parent conferences? What about early release days?
How about extra charger cables for kids who forget theirs/show up with a dead laptop? What norms/expectations do we set as a staff for online behavior?
Zoom or google meet? So many things are still TBD, more info coming, we will figure it out.
And I believe we will figure it out, we will get there. But it is hard to even begin to plan for the first day of school when there are so many unknowns,
from where I’ll be teaching (inside or out?), how I’ll be teaching (online? In person? On the chromebooks?),
and how I’ll be keeping kids safe....But I have to say, I am continually inspired by everyone around me.
Not only our collective strength, determination, and resiliency, but our innovation and flexibility.
My leadership team is listening, my colleagues are thinking every detail through, and although there is fear and frustration,
there is also a collective determination to do the best we can for our students.
...
We are in a faculty meeting, reviewing the 60 page document of new health and safety protocols...
but one thing in particular hits home for me. One colleague asks about getting our flu shots,
and asks when the person who typically comes into the school building to give the staff flu shots is coming.
The school nurse replies that this person may not be coming into the schools to deliver these this year,
because it may not be safe for them to do so. And I realize...we (teachers and staff and students)
are all being asked to come into this building everyday, but to the general public, it isn’t safe enough to have
them in to provide services? And I get it, if I had a different job, no way would I want to walk into a public
school while school was in session, with all those kids and germs...it just dawned on me what we are about
to enter into, and the answer to that question highlighted the potential dangers teachers and students are
going to be facing every day.
Monday August 31st
8am, driving to school. I have 5 work days left until school begins. I’m not even close to ready.
As I approach the school building, my heart rate picks up and my chest tightens. Tears sting at the
corners of my eyes. I’ve never had anxiety before. But the weight of what we teachers are being asked to
do hits me. I’ve had to think through life or death scenarios before. I’ve had to think about how to keep
kids safe during an active shooter incident, even role play with nerf guns. But to keep kids (and by
extension, their potentially vulnerable families) safe during a global pandemic? Nevermind teaching,
building relationships, delivering content...just keeping them safe...the enormity of this responsibility
hits me, and if I think about it for too long, I can’t quite breathe.
Thursday Sept 3rd
Two days of prep left! I’m nowhere near ready.
Today is exciting because we have Freshman orientation! So the 9th graders come to school, and do
a “walk through” of their schedule, attending each class for 5 minutes to say hi, meet teachers, etc.
I suddenly realize that there will be students in my classroom. Students in my classroom!
I scramble to make sure I have disinfectant and gloves ready, check in with colleagues to see what I
am forgetting, and make sure the desks are still set up 6 feet apart. Getting into these new routines is
going to take a lot of practice!
Friday Sept 4th
Got face masks, face shields, disinfect and gloves, desks spaced out 6 feet apart, 12 different seating
charts done, 4 sets of weekly plans for 3 different cohorts...Am I ready? Everything is screencasted
and hyperlinked, posted and planned...Am I ready? That’s my to do list behind me 😂 I’m getting there...
Monday September 7th
Tomorrow is the big day! My kids are starting 4th grade, 1st grade, and my youngest is starting her second
week of preschool. There is a little separation anxiety going on in our house (and I’m not sure who is
worse, the parents or the kids!). To ease the separation, we made ourselves matching friendship bracelets
for the first day. We’ve been home together since March, and this first day back marks a big transition
for all of us.
The day went great, on all fronts. The kids loved school, my day with my classes went well.
Perhaps the hardest day of my teaching career yet, but also one of the most exciting (and most
memorable). We are all too exhausted to do much of anything, early to bed! I think I collapsed by 8pm.
Photo of tents being set up outside the highschool to provide outdoor classrooms.
We are so excited to be able to teach outside. Tell the kids to bundle up!
Friday September 11th
A quick look at facebook this evening, and it dawns on me that it is 9/11. I was so absorbed in the week,
back to school for me and my family, it never occurred to me to mark today in any other way.
The end of the first week! Phew, we made it. And I have to say, it was hard, but not as hard as I imagined.
Reconnecting with students (and seeing them reconnect with peers!) was thrilling. I am amazed by how
adaptable we all are (but especially the students). Practices (like distancing and masks) that I thought
would be awkward or hard or inhibit community and communication are quickly adopted as normal, and
I sit in awe as my homeroom lunch group is chatting away like nothing’s ever happened. I’m enjoying
more time outside, and given myself permission to take more mental health breaks (and yoga breaks!)
throughout the day. I’m inspired by my colleagues, share their frustrations and stress, but also feel a
new sense of solidarity with them. For now, I feel safer than I thought I would. After the initial shock of
being around so many people for the first time in months, it already feels normal again. It is still
challenging living and teaching with so much uncertainty, and parts of this new routine still feel awkward
and difficult. Planning the next week already feels overwhelming, at times impossible. The certainty of
frequent absences (for staff and for kids) looms large. But I’m a teacher, it is what I do, and who I am.
So, at the end of the day, it just feels right to be back with the students. Amidst the fear and uncertainty,
I hope we can keep everyone safe and in the classroom for as long as possible. Thank you to all the
families and students doing their part to screen at home, wear their masks, and taking care to keep us
all healthy!
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